Planning a wedding is way harder....

than I thought it was. I look back on how insensitive I've been to the anxieties of friends and family who have been through the process. I always thought you just called someone and "someone" made sure everything happened right. I'm sure this is how it goes for many people- but no one I know is rich so it has not gone like this for any wedding I've been to.

Planning a wedding on a smaller budget (6,000) is much more challenging than planning a wedding around a 30,000 budget. For people who have no clue, 6,000 may seem like a lot of money. Well, it is; but it seems vendors have a common illness- whenever they hear the word "wedding" they get green specks in their eyes that some say resemble tiny dollar signs. We shopped around like crazy for facilities/caterers. Some rooms (no food included) were $5,000, some only $500. Some caterers wanted $206 a person, some wanted $75, and some only $20. Do you want a buffet, hors d'oeuvres, legs of lamb, ice sculptures, chocolate fountains, chimney sweeps? Do you want open bar, cash bar, no bar, sushi bar, or bar exams? Do you require seat covers? And what about the ceremony?

When you begin planning, the ceremony (arguably the most important part of the wedding) takes kind of a backseat for a while. Once you find a decent place, whether that be a church, chapel, beach, park, bowling alley or your neighbors roof, the ceremony is relatively simple. Ceremony sites are either free or can be rented for nominal fees. And if you have chosen a location with natural beauty, decorations are easy. Yes, it's the reception that will threaten your very existence. If you are anything like me (human), selecting a reception venue will shave off several years from your life expectancy. Why?

• There are about 5 trillion reception venues located in any given city.
• Of those 5 trillion, only 7 will have anything you can actually afford without taking out a loan. But very few places will post prices online so you have to contact EVERY ONE you like to find out if it's even worth looking at. You may or may not be made to feel sub-human because of your lack of dough-rolling.
  
• Of the 7 places you can afford, one will have people that are hard to work with, one will have too many rules, one will turn out to be too small, and one will have no more available dates.
• Of the 3 that are left, your fiance will have bad memories of a best-friends horrible wedding in one of them.
  
• Your mother will decide that one of the remaining 2 is not the right shape of room. It will be too rectangular.
  
• You will end up at a place you had immediately struck from your list when you began the whole process because it's now the only one left.

Originally, I wanted a basic room that we could bring in our own mix of furniture, decor, food, and what have you. Gradually this desire was worn down due to lack-of-millionaire-status blues, and my mother. Not that I'm complaining; she has been great, but does not share my visions by any means. We ended up at a place that does everything for you. They set up tables, chairs, decor, all the food, bar, dance floor, a/v equipment. It's oceanfront, so we can have our beach ceremony. I wanted the ceremony at night-time, that got thrown away too- now it's in daylight. Piece by piece, my vision is slipping away and I am clawing at it's tatters trying to preserve some scraps so my special day can be MY special day.

But you know, if I am married to my love at the end of the day, then as we pull away on our roadtrip adventure honeymoon that's all that will matter.