Bad cat.

I've been trying to toilet train my cat. I bought a "litter kwitter" which consists of a toilet seat shaped tray with several toilet hole shaped inserts. You set a solid tray in first while the cat gets used to pooping up on the toilet. Then you gradually replace the inserts, each with a larger hole in their center. Eventually, the cat is supposed to just go into the toilet and you can then remove the whole contraption.

Yesterday I changed the tray for the first time. This one still holds litter, but has about a 3x5 inch hole in the center. I also had to change the litter from regular clay, to a recycled paper litter (so it would be flushable). Later, I heard a terrible noise coming from the bathroom. I went to investigate and the cat was tearing into the bag of new litter like it was a fresh bag of cat food.

Okay, so I took care of that and went to bed. In the middle of the night I woke up to a loud crash in the bathroom. As I head to the bathroom, the cat tears past me. I looked in the bathroom and there was litter everywhere- but not from the bag, from the tray. The cat came and stood in the doorway. I picked her up to see if she had fallen through the hole. She wasn't wet at all so I set her onto the new litter tray. She struggled against me, and tried to bite my hand. I did it again, holding her there and petting her, showing her she could scratch in the litter. She ran away. I went to bed.

We came home today from being out several hours. I knew something was wrong as soon as we walked in the door. The familiar faint odor of cat pee was not hanging around the hallway bathroom as it usually is.

I went into the kitchen. "Sniff." I smell poop. "Sniff, sniff.." I started investigating...following the stench to- my NEW SHAG RUG!

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

So it's outside now drying in the sun. The rug, not the cat. I put the first tray back into the litter kwitter and showed it to her. She ran away to the living room, where I sat on the couch and glared at her.

Then I heard from the other room where Gordon is playing Mario, "Louie! Hang on, don't you know I'm fighting the boss?" And I laughed and laughed. Because I'm pretty sure he was serious.