Jolty

So many people with cats may have noticed that their cat likes to hurt them. Whether it's kneading your lap with claws, or the doleful cries they utter whenever you enter the kitchen. "Please sir, can I have some more?"

Our cat likes to hurt us in those ways, but she also bites us on occasion. Really, really hard. She also doesn't make nice, clean jumps onto surfaces like most cat's do. Instead, she gathers her nerve for about 10 minutes, does 3 or 4 false jumps, then finally, performs a semi-decent leap. If the surface is soft at all- like a bed or the couch, she will usually jump half-heartedly and then use her front claws to help pull her up. These soft surfaces include human skin. She will choose skin over any other "jumping aid".

Our bed is very high. Because of this, she always has to dig in and pull herself onto it. However, even though there is a lot of bed that isn't being occupied by people, she won't jump in those places. She always goes for our heads. I usually hear her come in in the morning and I move my head way back from the edge of the bed for just this reason. This morning, I didn't hear her come in and my bottom lip and chin were used as her pull-up.

Last week, she slept on my pillow, behind my head all night. Real nice and cute until I woke partly up at 4am and stretched my arm back and was firmly chomped upon.

Every day she tortures me by wanting to get into my lap. First she'll come to one side of my chair. I can usually hear her come because she kind of wheezes. She stares at me a while, meows a few times. I scoot over, pat my lap and tell her to come on. She does a few false jumps and then goes under my chair. I disregard. Suddenly, she is on the other side of my chair, digging into my leg trying to pull herself up. She will do this all day. Sometimes, she will sleep a few minutes in my lap then jump down, only to return mere seconds later and start the whole thing over again.

She also has some sort of mind-reading device that tells her when I am just about to get up from my chair to do something else. For some reason, that is unacceptable to her (or she's just mean). She will run in, jump in my lap, curl up into a little cat loaf, look up at me and purr.