Combustion

Today the cat caught on fire.

It all happened in an instant. I remember it in freeze frame: Me, yelling and reaching for the cat who had positioned herself directly above a lit candle. Her, face changing from contented interest to terror. Gordon, lunging across the room, papers flying.

It was a whirlwind. Her fur ignited with a hissing sound and the blue flame quickly spread. For an instant I imagined the fire would engulf her and I prepared to rip my shirt off to beat the blaze with it. But as quickly as she was lit, she spontaneously extinguished. In the same instant, Gordon's hand connected with her and either by his force or of her own will, she crashed across my desk and out of the room.

I examined her while Gordon got the air-freshener spray. The smell was extraordinary.

Other than a hand-sized patch of singed fur, she appeared completely unharmed. I observed her for a while, then brushed out her fur to which she had no objections.

She is back to her usual antics- batting all the ornaments off the bottom of the tree and tearing into her new bag of cat food.

Sometimes when I think back on it, I laugh a little; but I think that's just the insanity.

Hair splinters

So this has happened twice now. I have gotten a splinter in my foot or my finger. Sounds normal enough until I tell you what the splinter was.

A hair.

Yes, a hair splinter. Embedded in my skin. They are extraordinarily painful.

The first time this happened it was a dog hair splinter. I stepped into the bathroom in my bare feet and thought I must have stepped on a piece of glass. I looked... and looked but I didn't see anything. With every step it felt like a fresh stab from a needle. Finally I turned on all the lights and examined the foot. I could not believe what I was seeing. There was a dog hair stuck into my skin! I had to pull pretty hard to get it out. Yikes.

That was several weeks ago. I thought it was a freak occurrence. I never expected it to happen again! This morning I hugged Gordon as he left for work. My hand brushed against his shirt and OW! A tiny, TINY beard hair embedded itself into the skin of the first joint of my pinkie finger. I could not believe how much it hurt. Running my finger over the hair caused a sharp, burning, stinging pain. Fortunately it was easy to remove with tweezers.

What the heck?? I did a search for hair stuck in skin and found out it's pretty common for people to get dog hairs stabbed in their feet. I did not find out, however, why it hurts SO MUCH! And how does a hair find its way into the thick skin of a heel or toe?

This is the world we live in.

Bad cat.

I've been trying to toilet train my cat. I bought a "litter kwitter" which consists of a toilet seat shaped tray with several toilet hole shaped inserts. You set a solid tray in first while the cat gets used to pooping up on the toilet. Then you gradually replace the inserts, each with a larger hole in their center. Eventually, the cat is supposed to just go into the toilet and you can then remove the whole contraption.

Yesterday I changed the tray for the first time. This one still holds litter, but has about a 3x5 inch hole in the center. I also had to change the litter from regular clay, to a recycled paper litter (so it would be flushable). Later, I heard a terrible noise coming from the bathroom. I went to investigate and the cat was tearing into the bag of new litter like it was a fresh bag of cat food.

Okay, so I took care of that and went to bed. In the middle of the night I woke up to a loud crash in the bathroom. As I head to the bathroom, the cat tears past me. I looked in the bathroom and there was litter everywhere- but not from the bag, from the tray. The cat came and stood in the doorway. I picked her up to see if she had fallen through the hole. She wasn't wet at all so I set her onto the new litter tray. She struggled against me, and tried to bite my hand. I did it again, holding her there and petting her, showing her she could scratch in the litter. She ran away. I went to bed.

We came home today from being out several hours. I knew something was wrong as soon as we walked in the door. The familiar faint odor of cat pee was not hanging around the hallway bathroom as it usually is.

I went into the kitchen. "Sniff." I smell poop. "Sniff, sniff.." I started investigating...following the stench to- my NEW SHAG RUG!

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

So it's outside now drying in the sun. The rug, not the cat. I put the first tray back into the litter kwitter and showed it to her. She ran away to the living room, where I sat on the couch and glared at her.

Then I heard from the other room where Gordon is playing Mario, "Louie! Hang on, don't you know I'm fighting the boss?" And I laughed and laughed. Because I'm pretty sure he was serious.

Cat

Today, I prefer the cat. The dog is acting weird and obnoxious. He keeps sniffing in my ear. The cat is all cute and sitting like a little roast turkey, snoring and minding her own business.

Hmm?

You may be wondering why I post what I eat. I look at it as a kind of accountability thing. I'd like to get to the point one day where I am eating so healthy, people don't even recognize the foods I'm talking about anymore. Or maybe not that extreme- but somewhere in there I hope for improvement. Believe it or not, my diet has improved. I used to eat lots of ramen, yaki-soba, canned heavy cream with msg soup, all of which had enough sodium to cure an entire pig farm.

So that's that. Oh- today I had chicken primavera with angel hair, a packet of sixlets, blue Koolaid, coffee and water.

I think I have neglected to mention that we got a dog a while back. He's an animal shelter special. Chihuahua, beagle, jack russel, dachshund, etc. Mostly looks like a slightly larger chihuahua. Very cute. Light brown with a brown nose, and white feet. For a long time, we thought potty training was going to be a lost cause. He would go outside when we took him, but then would go in his crate while we were away, almost without fail, even if we were gone less than an hour. He would also poop in random places- like the middle of the kitchen floor. And God help you if you left some clothes on the bathroom floor- they would surely be peed upon. Well, I don't know if it's coincidence or if my parents in law are some kind of dog-whisperers, because we left him in their care one weekend, and he hasn't gone in the house since. Not once.

He is also learning nicely how to walk on a leash without acting like an idiot.
We still have the problem of him getting away from us (getting out of the leash, escaping when we open the door) and running down the street, taking great joy in eluding us and taking no notice of approaching vehicles. It has only been the kindness of neighbors/strangers, who he will run up to, being willing to seize him that he hasn't disappeared/died. We figure this is how he ended up in the shelter in the first place.

Anyways, he has improved in obedience so much that I almost think I like him better than the cat. I can't believe I'm saying this. I still love my kitty, and she will always be my favorite by default, but Louie (dog) is quickly closing the gap. When Gordon leaves, Louie gets into bed, gets under the covers and curls up as close to me as he can get. It's precious. Today he actually got into Gordon's spot and had his head and arms out of the covers, and his head on the pillow- just like a little person. The cat is also beginning to accept his presence every now and then. Sometimes they play and chase each other around the house and it warms my heart. Now he just has to learn the difference between playful cat and angry cat.

I make a point to play with Zelda (cat) and brush her once or twice a day, which she loves, so that she doesn't feel forgotten. She also still likes to get up on my desk while I'm working and steal things, lay on papers, and knead my lap with her claws- things I cherish which doggie will never be able to do.

Oct. 14

The cat just ran off with my kneaded eraser. Of all the items on my desk, she chose that. How odd.

Today I ate leftover green curry rice and coffee. Then we went to Outback and I had teriyaki fillet medallions with pepper and onion, caesar salad and mashed potatoes. Later I ate some candy corn and 4 oreos with a glass of milk.

Oct. 11 was our 1 year wedding anniversary. We made it one whole year and honestly, it was the easiest year of my life. Very fun, low stress, fulfilling, etc. I recommend (to women) marrying a very easy-going man who can be aloof at times, but always ends up doing something thoughtful in the end. One who reads, and takes time to help others, doesn't always have to be right but often is, and let's you be yourself- whatever that may be from day to day.

It's my mom's birthday- Happy Birthday Mom, I love you!

Hallowe'en?

It's my favorite holiday. It's my birthday. It's candy and costumes. It's my favorite colors. It's my favorite season and time of day. The mystery and electricity in the air. The smell of fake cobwebs! The low quality "scary laugh" sound effects of front door-step decor. Glowing pumpkins with ghastly grins. The knowledge that something might jump out and scare you, but you will be okay.

Did I mention the candy?

Oh yeah, I did.

Well anyway, I've been planning a Halloween party on and off for a couple months now.

1. I get to planning, I have a moral crisis. (Why am I spending money on this party when I could feed an African village/orphan/refugee with it instead?)
2. I get back to planning, I have a self-esteem crisis. (Eight-thousand people are having Halloween parties, why would anyone choose mine!?)
3. I get back to planning, I have a spiritual crisis. (How can we make light of the dark when real evil is taking place all around us?)
4. I get back to planning, I have an existential crisis. (Why am i spending my time and effort on this when we could all be dead tomorrow?)

First, I just wanted to have a Halloween party. Then, I told myself it was for my birthday- that's a good reason to have a party, right? Next, I told myself it's for our class at church to get together and fellowship. Now I'm trying to extrapolate/interpolate/interpret (Something!!) some sort of meaning into the holiday. "How can I use this party to help, teach, inspire, etc." Because if I can't do that, then there is no reason to have this party and having it would be wrong. (Or would it? Does everything have to have an explicit purpose?)

Am I wrestling so hard with this because it is wrong? Or because it is right? I realize there can be a blessing for someone, even if I am unaware completely. Am I just making excuses, or am I slowly deducing a true reason to have a party?

The reason I enjoy throwing parties at our house is that I like a certain amount of order to a get-together. I'm not a fan of the parties where everyone just stands around and makes small-talk and gets drunk for four hours. A time of that is fine, but I like to also have some planned activities. If it's not a huge group, I think it's nice for everyone to get to know who all the other people are with which they are sharing a room. I like at least one game. Even a short, easy game. Just to divert attention for a while, and maybe for a good laugh. Something like pin the tail on the donkey.

I like for parties to have some small vestiges of a purpose. If it's a Christmas party, how about sharing the Christmas story, or an interesting Christmas experience someone had as a child? (Like, one Christmas our house burned down and we had to spend it with our crazy Uncle Ed, who literally went driving until he hit a deer for us to eat for Christmas dinner.)

I guess I like a little creativity and imagination in a party. I think that creates bonding experiences, which are more important than free Long Island iced teas. Not that I'm against those.

What I ate today (Oct. 6, 2010)

Today was better:

- Honey Nut Cheerios w/ 2% milk

- Baked ziti with chicken

- Caesar Salad

- Small piece of garlic bread

- Two small chocolate chip cookies

- Coffee

- Water

- Some raisinettes

- A couple bites of a McDonald's cheeseburger

I got a new rug today. It's a shag rug from India made of little jute ropes that have been dyed orange. It's not the softest rug, but it is more comfortable than the bare floor. I think it will hide any stains, pet hairs, crumbs, etc. really well. I've been shopping for a rug forever. It's hard to find square rugs at local discount stores- so props to overstock.com for a very good price, big selection, and super cheap and fast shipping. I recommend.

What I ate today (Oct. 5, 2010)

I ate terribly today. Nutritionists and dietitians throughout the universe suffered from unexplained stomach pains and general malaise.

- Coffee

- Milky Way bar

- More coffee

- A third of a can of Bush's Baked Beans

- A slice of gouda

- 5 Ritz crackers

- 2 Reese's Pieces I found on the table

- An apple

- A creamsicle

- A cherry blowpop

- Water

As I was writing this, the cat walked by with a paint roller in her mouth, dragged it into the living room and howled.

We went grocery shopping tonight and on the way, we passed a woman who was sitting in the middle of the street, going through some white plastic trash bags. I called the police because I was worried she was going to get hit. She had been out there at least an hour when we called because Gordon had seen her on his way home. On the way back from the store, she was still pawing through the bags but had moved to the other side of the street. Gordon offered her some assistance which she refused. The cops showed up about 1.5 hours after we called. Strange indeed.

Doo-dah.

I am overwhelmingly underwhelmed.

The past is a strange animal.

About the corndogs I mentioned a couple posts ago- there was an extra corn dog in the box. I found that even more disturbing than the cheated feeling I had when I thought there were only 5. What is going on in that corndog factory that an entire extra corndog was allowed to be included in that box.

P.S.,

Existential crises make for unexciting party planning.

A New Leaf(y green)

I've been pondering on and off the idea of going green, going organic, using less, recycling more, reducing power consumption, living simpler, shopping local doing things "the hard way" or the old-fashioned way and any thing related to that list. There are lot's of reasons. Joining the cause to "save earth", being more self-sufficient in case of disaster, saving money on unneeded luxuries to put towards other causes, supporting small local business instead of huge corporations, and being healthier.

Specifically, I've been wondering what life would be like without a refrigerator. I read some blogs written by people who pulled the plug and saw their electric bills drastically reduce. I wonder if this would happen to us- we do use a lot of air conditioning living in Florida, so I wonder if the energy used by our fridge is anywhere near that used by the a/c. I don't think turning the a/c off is a good idea. It is over 100 most days, and VERY humid. I think we would have a very unhealthy mold colony in our house if we went that far. We do keep the thermostat around 78 and supplement with fans. I have additional doubts about the fridge shut-off because our fridge is almost brand new and is a little fancier than the regular discount model. I don't hear it run very often and it has special features like a beep when you have the door open too long. I would assume it is very energy efficient- but I still wonder.

It's also hard to resist the sale ads for the local supermarket. My frugal background causes me to wince at the thought of paying $9 a pound for organic chicken while the regular chicken is $1.99. A good solution is to eat less meat, but I live with a MAN who likes meat!

It's a slow process to change the way you have always thought about things. For example, I have a car sitting out in the driveway. It's an older car, bought used and has been a good car. A few days ago the speedometer stopped working. I don't know what that means but even before that, I was never big on driving unnecessarily. I have this fear of breaking down in the middle of a busy intersection crammed with angry unhelpful people. It's hard to explain the 300 reasons I have for not wanting to drive to someone who wants me to come hang out with them. When a car ad comes on TV, I begin fantasizing about the new car I'm sure I'll get one day soon. Which is silly- it would be easier for me to explain my absence at "brunch with the girls" if I simply had no car.

Biking, while an option in an emergency, is simply not a safe choice in this city. It's a HUGE city, very sprawled out, with friends and shops spread out over 30 miles. There are some bike lanes but motorists here are not used to looking out for bikes, or pedestrians for that matter. There is no concept of "yield" to people in the crosswalk, or look before merging over the bike lanes. Also, the likelihood of just getting shot is pretty good. All the "greenways" the city has installed currently go from nowhere to nowhere and are designed to be used for pleasure strolls, not actual travel. I'm simply not prepared to die for the cause.

The last option I considered was a motor scooter- like a vespa. I feel relatively safe about this option. The mileage is great, I think repairs would be reduced in cost, the cost of purchasing the scooter is very low, and the ease of parking is unbeatable. Only downside I see is having to visit the DMV to get a motorcycle permit.

Foodings

A few updates before I move on- It's been a while since my last post:

-I'm married now. It's great, by the way.

-We bought a house.

-Have a cat, some flowers, and even a picket fence.

-We just got back from a 10 day trip up the east coast to Atlantic City, Boston and Brunswick, Maine. More on that later.

So that about brings us up to now. I remembered I had a blog when I made some food related comments and Husband said I should write a blog about my consumer-related food knowledge. Or something like that. See, I bought some corn dogs this week (I know, I know- more on that later too). I wanted the regular, State-fair brand corn dogs. There were several boxes- however, all but one were "beef" hot dogs. The one regular box was a little crushed looking, so noting that the prices were the same for both varieties, I picked out a box of beef dogs. Well tonight, I realized there are only 5 corn dogs in this box, while the regular variety includes 6 corn dogs in a box. I can't help but feel cheated by my own haste.

It's kind of become "the new thing" for food manufacturers to keep prices the same, while reducing quantity (or quality, or both) rather than raise prices and keep quantities the same. It makes sense that this is more palatable to the general public. Many people don't even notice that their ice cream tub is .25 quarts lighter than it used to be. But the people that do notice are often angered by this "deception". I say if it must be one or the other, I'd rather take a smaller portion. I think most of us could benefit from a few ounces shaved off each meal anyways.